A Hurting Heart
by ChoCedric
Summary: The day after Cedric's death, Cho is an emotional mess. All she needs is someone to hold her after the loss of someone she loved so much. Fortunately, the person who smells of nurture, cooking, and home shows up to comfort her.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

A Hurting Heart

By: ChoCedric

The Morning after the worst day of her life came all too soon for fifteen-year-old Cho. She hadn't been able to stop crying all night as memories of Cedric assaulted her from all sides. The fact that she would never see him again was a terrible burden upon her shattered soul, and she would have loved to think this was a terrible nightmare.

Part of her was still in denial; she thought that when she went to the Great Hall, Cedric would be there, and his gray eyes would be filled with the love and laughter he always had. That terrible sight of him last night would just be a fading memory. His soft voice lingered in her mind as she, Marietta, and her two other friends, Amanda and Meghan walked to the Great Hall. The castle was totally silent; there was no laughter, no life, just a sense of doom and gloom.

As soon as Cho got to the Great Hall, she knew that last night's horrific events hadn't just been a nightmare. She looked at the Hufflepuff table and saw nothing but tear-streaked faces. People were muttering amongst themselves, and the teachers looked as though they hadn't slept a wink. New tears filled Cho's eyes as she sat, defeated, at the Ravenclaw table. It was true; her love was gone.

Albus Dumbledore got up to speak. Cho buried her head in her hands as he said: "I know that last night's events were a shock to you all, and I was very saddened to see them happen. Cedric Diggory was a brave and honorable young man to the last, so let us raise our glasses to him."

A question struck Cho then, a question she wanted answered right now. How had Cedric been killed? She was pretty sure it was by a Death Eater. His and Harry's disappearance from the maze last night made her think that they'd been taken away from Hogwarts somehow, that they'd been caught in a trap. Why had no one bothered to tell her anything? She was Cedric's girlfriend, she deserved to know! Was Dumbledore going to address this issue now?

Apparently, he wasn't. "I would also like to honor Harry Potter, who did everything he could to bring Cedric back to us," he said softly.

Cho suddenly felt a fierce, pulsing anger erupt in her. Harry Potter. Had HE been the one to hurt Cedric? She'd known by the resentment in Harry's eyes that he'd been jealous of him. But then the other, logical part of her mind spoke up. Why would you even think he'd hurt him? The modest, kind Gryffindor she knew would never do something like that. But the anger stayed with her nonetheless. If Harry bloody Potter had survived, then why hadn't Cedric? Was Harry too damn selfish to save him?

Cho didn't eat any of her breakfast; she felt nauseated. Marietta soothingly tried to coax her to eat something, but Cho just sat there huddled in her seat, wishing for Cedric's arms to wrap around her. This was all a blur, but one image stayed with Cho nonstop: the image of her boyfriend's lifeless eyes staring into the abyss.

Today was Sunday, and Cho knew that it was a day she had planned on sharing with Cedric. They had wanted to go to the lake and walk around a little, then they were going to do homework together. But now, she was miserably making her way back to her dormitory. Her friends had to help her, for she felt fuzzy and disoriented, not knowing where she was going.

"Miss Chang?"

It was Professor Flitwick; he had intercepted her as she was leaving the Great Hall.

"Yes, Professor?" Cho said in a small voice.

"Miss Chang," Professor Flitwick said again, and his voice was gentle. "If you would come with me, please."

Marietta, Amanda, and Meghan gave Cho worried looks as she walked with Flitwick down many corridors. She wondered where he was leading her. Finally, they reached the hospital wing, and Cho felt a rather peculiar feeling engulf her. Was she going to see what she thought she was?

Once they got in through the door, Flitwick began to speak.

"I know," he said softly, "that you and Cedric Diggory had a very special relationship. Cedric's parents were also aware of that fact. Before they take him with them today, they requested that you talk to them. They also assumed you'd want to say goodbye."

"Yes ... I would," Cho choked out, more tears filling her eyes.

"All right," said Flitwick. "And Miss Chang ... I am deeply, deeply sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," said Cho, but she doubted the sincerity of his words. No one, not a single person, could understand the depth of her and Cedric's relationship. No one.

Flitwick led her to a private room. The door was opened, and Flitwick squeezed Cho's hand. "I'll be right here waiting for you when you're ready to leave," he said, pushing Cho gently inside. Cho nodded and complied.

In the room sat Mr. and Mrs. Diggory, and there, covered in a white sheet, was Cedric. His gray eyes were no longer lifelessly staring; they were closed now. One parent had a hold of each of Cedric's hands. Mrs. Diggory was crying softly, and Mr. Diggory's face was ashen and he looked shocked.

"Hello," said Cho softly as her feet took her on autopilot towards the huddled group.

"Cho, darling." Mrs. Diggory let go of Cedric's hand and stepped up to her, covering her in a warm embrace. "I knew you would come."

"Hello, Cho," said Mr. Diggory, his voice raw with emotion. "Have you come to say goodbye?"

"Yeah," said Cho, bending down and taking the hand that Mrs. Diggory had let go of.

"Amos and I will let you have some time alone with him," said Mrs. Diggory softly. "We know he was very special to you. We're so sorry, honey."

"Thanks, me too," sniffled Cho as the two Diggorys turned to leave. After the door had closed, Cho looked at Cedric's face. God, he looked so lost and alone, as if whatever had killed him was a complete surprise. She squeezed his hand lovingly, hating the ice coldness of it. He looked as handsome as ever, though, but she'd never seen him look so vulnerable. Cedric had always been so brave and strong.

"Cedric," she whispered, tenderly stroking his face. "Love, how could you leave me? You knew I couldn't live without you." Sobs began to rack her body as she wrapped her arms around his unresponsive ones. She'd give anything right now for a returned embrace from him. "There were so many things I wanted to do with you. I was going to love you always, we were going to share our lives together, what happened? Who did this to you? WHO DID THIS TO YOU?" she suddenly screamed, hating that permanent look of shock and vulnerability etched upon his handsome features. "Who could do this to someone so perfect? I love you!" Her voice grew soft again through her sobs as she continued, "I love you, Cedric. I'll never forget you. I know you'd want me to move on and ..." She hiccuped, "everything, and I'll try, but God, it's going to be so hard! You were my first love, and you'll always be an angel to me." She kissed his cold lips, and then drew back, not being able to take anymore. The Cedric she'd known had been so alive, not cold and stiff like this. And God, was she glad that his parents had closed his eyes for him; she wouldn't have been able to bear seeing them lifelessly stare like they had last night.

Tears pouring uncontrollably down her face, Cho ran as fast as her legs could carry her out of the hospital room. Not paying attention to where she was going, she bumped smack into Professor Flitwick.

"Miss Chang, Miss Chang, it's all right, it's all right," he tried to soothe her, sitting her down on one of the beds in the regular part of the wing.

"No, it's not! I s-s-saw him and ... he's so cold ... WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN?" Cho screamed at the top of her lungs.

Madame Pomfrey came bustling over, for she had heard the commotion. By now Cho was hysterical, and it took great effort for the matron and Charms professor to force a sleeping potion down her throat. Her last thought being one of despair, Cho's eyes closed not of her own volition and she fell into blissful darkness.

"Poppy, how am I going to help her through this?" asked Flitwick, staring at his sleeping charge. "I'm her Head of House. I don't know how to handle this."

"Just be there for her, and let her friends be there for her as well," answered Madame Pomfrey quietly. "In the meantime, I think we should talk to her parents. They should be there to comfort her when a tragedy like this has just happened. Dealing with adolescents' emotions is very tough, especially when it comes to love. She needs nurture from a loving mother right now to ease her heartache."

xxx

When Cho awoke, it was to a soft hand on her forehead. Cho opened her eyes and saw her mother standing over her. Her mother. Her first fleeting thought was, what is she doing here? Am I sick?

But then, all the memories of last night and this morning came rushing back to her, and she sat up with a gasp, a wave of miserable nausea stealing over her.

"Cho, sweetie." Meg put an arm around her. "My girl, I don't know what to say."

And that was the honest, plain truth. Meg truly didn't know what to say. She had received many letters from Cho over the school year, expressing how happy she was with Cedric. She had smiled fondly in remembrance of her own teenage years. Part of her had been concerned that her daughter had given away her heart too young, but then she remembered her own first love and how young she herself had been, and it made her feel better. Jack, on the other hand, who Meg was having marital problems with for many different reasons at the moment, had been very obstinate about his little girl having a boyfriend. He hadn't been thrilled at all, and had expressed that much to Cho. He had even gone as far as to tell Cho to break up with him, but Meg knew that her stubborn little girl would never do such a thing. Once she had her heart set, there was no stopping her.

"Don't say anything," Cho muttered. "Just hold me." She threw her arms around her mother, burying her face in her shirt. The good smell of cooking and ironing overpowered her, and it was a relief to be in her mother's arms.

After another bout of crying, Cho lifted her head and said shakily, "Wh-who told you?"

"Your Head of House, Professor Flitwick, floo-called me," Meg said softly. "What happened is terrible. It's such a tragedy."

"He had his whole life ahead of him!" Cho screamed. "AND I LOVED HIM!"

Meg was baffled at how Cho could go from crying and upset to screaming and angry, for she had never lost a loved one like this. "I know, darling," she soothed.

"And I know why Dad didn't come," Cho said bitterly. "He's probably glad he's dead, right?"

"Cho Chang, how could you say such a thing?" exclaimed Meg, shocked.

"Very easily," Cho snarled. "He kept telling me to break up with Cedric, to stop seeing him. Now that I can't see him ever again, he's probably happy!"

"Your father's working, sweetie." Meg tried to speak quietly. "And you know very well that he can't get into Hogwarts, he's a Muggle." Cho's cheeks flashed with embarrassment; for all her Ravenclaw logic, she had forgotten that tidbit of information in her anger and grief. "But of course he won't be glad he's dead. You know your father better than that; he just wanted the best for you."

"My life is ruined, Mum," Cho wailed.

"No, it's not, honey. I know it's hard, but there are plenty of people in this world who will be able to love and understand you," Meg tried to console.

"No!" Cho shouted. "He was the only one who cared, the only one who loved me for me! Everyone else just thinks I'm some pretty Ravenclaw ditz-brain!" She began to howl into her mother's chest again.

The rest of the afternoon was spent crying and talking with her mother. Meg tried to have her bring up good memories of Cedric, but she could see that it wasn't working. The pain of the events the night before were still too raw.

"Do you know when his funeral is yet? Did Professor Flitwick tell you?" Cho asked finally.

"It's next Sunday, sweetheart," replied Meg. "In a week's time. You'll be home from school by then, so Jack and I will go with you."

"Daddy will come?" asked Cho in a small voice. It had been so long since she'd addressed him as "Daddy." She thought she was too grown-up to do that anymore.

"Of course he'll come," Meg said.

"Mum, I don't want to lose you too!" Cho said suddenly, despairingly. "If Death Eaters killed Cedric, what if they get to you, too? I heard rumors going around at breakfast that Potter said something about You-Know-Who actually being back last night!"

"Honey, we don't know if that's true," said Meg. "All I know is what happened last night was a terrible tragedy, and we'll do all we can to try to stop something like that from happening again. And You-Know-Who? He's been dead for thirteen years, Cho. No spell can reawaken the dead." She instantly realized that was the wrong thing to say, for tears filled Cho's eyes again. "It might just have been an isolated incident. But your father and I will be very careful, and we'll have you home with us in less than a week."

"Can't you take me home now?" Cho pleaded.

"I did ask Professor Flitwick that," Meg told her, "but he insists that you stay in school until term is over."

Cho bristled. Didn't Professor Flitwick understand? How could she possibly concentrate on schoolwork when something of this magnitude had happened? She had lost a love and nothing could bring him back, not a hundred A's on a hundred papers. She couldn't give two hoots whether she failed all her O.W.L's right now.

"I know what you're thinking, Cho, and I understand that, but you must do what your Head of House advises," Meg said. "And it's time for me to go now, your father will be wanting me to make dinner."

Can't he make it himself? Cho wanted to shriek, but she didn't. Their parents' relationship had always been like that. "Thanks for coming, Mum," she said softly.

"Hang in there, sweetie. I love you," Meg answered, giving her distraught and heartbroken daughter one last hug.

xxx

In the Ravenclaw common room, Cho sat quietly with Marietta on one of the fluffy couches. She'd attempted to eat a little at dinner, but it hadn't amounted to much. She couldn't bear being in the Great Hall; her eyes kept looking at Cedric's empty spot, willing him to appear. So now she just sat, her mind drifting to memories of yesterday.

Marietta tried to strike up a conversation, but Cho paid no attention. She just sat and stared into space. In a few days she'd be going home for the summer, but she wished she was home now. Every single spot in this damned school made her think of Cedric. Memories of the two of them together were down every corridor, in every nook and cranny. At home, there were no recollections of them to haunt her.

Cho had always loved Quidditch and flying, but she knew now that it would never hold the same happiness for her again, for how could it when she'd seen his still, lifeless body on that very Quidditch pitch they loved to fly together on? That was how they'd grown so close; their flying sessions together had really helped their friendship blossom into love. Now when she thought of being on the Quidditch team next year, her heart filled with dread.

Cho closed her eyes and tried to get comfortable, but every time her lids slipped shut, the image of Cedric's cold body that she had seen last night and this morning came flooding back to her. So she gave that up, went to her dormitory, and settled on her bed to read a book. It was a romance novel, and Cho hoped with a tiny, vicious part of her that it would end badly for the couple depicted in the novel. But no, they lived happily ever after. Cho angrily ripped the last page out of the book and threw it across the room. It landed near Marietta's bed with a soft thump.

For that was exactly it. Cho would no longer have a happily ever after with him. She considered what her mother had said, about maybe finding someone new, but her heart was too broken. She had thought it would be forever with Cedric, and they had even planned it so. What had his last thoughts been? Had he suffered? Was he in pain before his life had been cruelly snuffed out of him like the life of a fly?

I swear, Cho thought to herself, before the end of this year or by sometime next year, I'll confront Harry. I need to know whether there was anything, ANYTHING, I could have done. Had he screamed for help? Had he wished for her to be at his side?

She didn't know, but she vowed she'd find out. She put the remains of the romance novel back on her shelf and settled back on her bed, hoping for sleep to claim her and leave her in its blissful depths.


End file.
